I don’t really know what prompted me to get into Japanese culture so heavily but I have been on rush lately. Almost like I was reincarnated from another life and I’m just now coming back into fruition. Maybe it was because the first woman I slept with was an Asian woman or maybe it was because I grew up watching Japanese anime. Who knows, but all I can say is that I really enjoy putting on Japanese clothes and imagining I’m in some sort of Jidai themed movie. Growing up, I had worn so many du-rags, so many Jordans, so many Nikes, so many New Era hats that I felt like it was just time for change of pace. You can only be hood for so long without reverting back to your youth. I always want to remain true to myself but I want to push the bar on what I become as well. That and I was also beginning to pick up an extreme amount of weight and I decided to use the Samurai mindset to forge a new code for myself. There really isn’t a goal to this post other than to post and rant. For me, The way of the Samurai is somewhat of a coping mechanism too, as I recently lost my father on December 3rd, 2025. Sabishii, I am as I hadn’t really planned on my father dying so unceremoniously at that time. I always felt like he wanted me to be strong no matter what. Whenever I came to the hospital he didn’t even want me to see him in that condition so he would tell me to go home. In a way I guess you could say that he knew he was on his way out and I would ultimately have to cope without him. Maybe that’s why he would send me away from the hospital. I think what really broke me was when I had to help him put on his underwear. Never in my lifetime would I think I would have to help my father put on his underwear, so whenever my cousin and I helped him with his clothes that day, that was the nail in the coffin which let me know I had to put the idea of what he had been doing for the family in the past. It was so incredibly hard for me knowing how this was a man who played semi-professional football and even when he had gone into the years-prior was able to lift me up with 1 arm despite being bed-ridden himself. In my mind it seemed like my father would never die or succumb to ailments. He just seemed larger than life for most of my upbringing. Come to think about it, the reason I most likely am drawn to Samurai is due to my dad’s affinity with Bruce lee and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I guess I’m just a spinoff of what he liked.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23485-cardiac-sarcoidosis
